There are No Cats In Asheville

A longer than usual story to go along with the clip from YouTube, but for two months we have been keeping two cats that came along with the house in order to ease the transition for buying the house.

We are not in particular cat people. We have Slappy and she is quite enough. Thank you. But we took on the cats as a learning experience and we have learned that we do not want cats. They were pleasant enough. We just aren't cat people.

After two months, Sandy called to say that she had worked out a new place to live and would I meet her in Columbia to trade the cats back to her. Of course I would!

The night before, I began to gather up their things. Litter boxes, scratching posts, toys, tunnels, food, etc. And etc. That was when Matt decided to look up on the internet how to drive with cats in the car. The first article he came across had this as the lead, "If you have never driven with a howling, screeching, clawing, slobbering cat; then you have not LIVED!" What a fantastic point. I surely have not lived sir. And now, I am so excited to take on these two cats for a two and half hour drive.

So the next day, we get everyone ready. I load up everything and get the cats in the car. I literally just throw Lucy and Asher in the car. I forget everything that my children might need for the day. Sippy cups, diapers, pacifiers and blankies are all left behind. But I sure as heck made sure that EVERYTHING that the cats might need was provided for.

As we got underway, I was literally shaking with nerves as we left the driveway, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the cats were not howlers. So everything was fine. Until we got to Columbia.

Once we got there, I let Gracie out of the crate and got the cats some water. I still had them contained in the trunk area of my station wagon, but I quickly saw that Gracie was not content to be contained as was exploring my entire car within minutes, squeezing through small openings in the gate. I had rolled down my windows just a few inches and opened my sunroof and let them be while I laid the Lucy down for a nap.

I came back out to check on the cats just before Sandy arrived and well...Gracie was missing. I opened up all of my car doors. Looked under every seat. Searched the FREAKING CAR and could not find the cat. At this moment, Sandy called and I had to tell her that the cat was now missing and we were looking for her. 30 minutes later, the cat was still missing and I was laughing/crying at the situation that was completely ridiculous. I mean, how do you lose a cat? How does a cat get out of car with only inches in the window? I was flabbergasted and to be honest, completely over taking care of the cats. I thought I made it! And instead, I LOST THE DADGUM CAT.

At this point, I come up with the brilliant plan to pull out the cat food and try to lure the cat back with jingling food in the bowl and pray that God would have mercy on me and allow this insane cat to find its way back to my car.

Seconds later, my sister-in-law asks while peering into my car, "Isn't that the cat?" I tell her "No, your silly pregnant mind is playing tricks on you. We have TWO cats." And she says, "I know. That one is GRAY." Oh. The cats was in my car THE WHOLE FREAKING TIME.

Awesome.
So now, there are no cats in our house. And we are very happy about that. We love you Sandy.

If Salt Loses Its Flavor...

I am still battling the migraines this week and I came to bed the other night and saw that SALT was all over my night stand, my side of the bed, in the carpet and on top of my freshly laundered clothes.

Matt was already in bed and I kind of freaked out on him, demanding to know what this was? He snapped to attention and then told me that while I was making dinner, he saw Lucy grab the salt shaker and being to chase the cat, "Paisley" all throughout our room shaking salt on the cat and laughing her head off.

Of course, none of the salt made it onto Matt's side of the bed. Just mine. Oh, and he never did stop her. She just got tired of the game and put the salt back where it belonged. I; on the other hand, spent twenty minutes making sweet love to the dustbuster so that I could go to bed without feeling like I was at the beach.