Dear Facebook,
You are not Twitter.
Can you tell all my "friends"?
love,
leslie
Showing posts with label unsorted mail. Show all posts
Showing posts with label unsorted mail. Show all posts
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
Unsorted Mail
Dear Michigan State Spartans,
Thanks for not showing up for the game last night, ruining my bracket and destroying my shot at the McSloanSmith Cloak and general infamy with my inlaws. I'll get you back sometime.
Dear Snow on my brand-new blueberry bushes on April 7th,
You are not welcome around here anymore.
This is not the kind of April showers that bring May Flowers.
Dear Preschool that takes Spring Break,
Guess who doesn't need Spring Break?
Two and Three-year olds. Their entire lives are a break. Let's hit the books next week instead of taking it off, kay?
Dear Parents whose cars have stickers covering their entire back windows,
I do not understand how that happens and yes, I am judging you.
Sorry.
But, look into straight razor. They cost 1.29 at a hardware store.
Your kids aren't really enjoying those stickers anymore are they?
Thanks for not showing up for the game last night, ruining my bracket and destroying my shot at the McSloanSmith Cloak and general infamy with my inlaws. I'll get you back sometime.
Dear Snow on my brand-new blueberry bushes on April 7th,
You are not welcome around here anymore.
This is not the kind of April showers that bring May Flowers.
Dear Preschool that takes Spring Break,
Guess who doesn't need Spring Break?
Two and Three-year olds. Their entire lives are a break. Let's hit the books next week instead of taking it off, kay?
Dear Parents whose cars have stickers covering their entire back windows,
I do not understand how that happens and yes, I am judging you.
Sorry.
But, look into straight razor. They cost 1.29 at a hardware store.
Your kids aren't really enjoying those stickers anymore are they?
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Dear Unsorted Mail
One of my favorite blogs is Unsorted Mail. More for the ideas that it plants in my head than actual content because they have taken the summer pretty much off from posting. Here is what was developed in my mind from this morning:
Dear Political Candidates for President,
Stop believing so much in yourselves and your power to fix the economy. Here is the West Wing boxed set. Please watch before you get sworn into office.
Dear Woman Who Just Left Yoga Class and Walked Into the Steam Room Butt-Naked,
Continuing to do yoga poses including sitting cross-legged across from me? Yeah, that was awkward.
Dear Custom Made Bunk Beds that require mattresses more expensive than bunk beds from Pottery Barn,
Thanks but no thanks.
Dear Wiener Dog who continues to poop the entire length of your body night after night in my room even though you go out to poop at midnight,
ever heard of the term shish-ka-bob?
Love,
Leslie
Dear Political Candidates for President,
Stop believing so much in yourselves and your power to fix the economy. Here is the West Wing boxed set. Please watch before you get sworn into office.
Dear Woman Who Just Left Yoga Class and Walked Into the Steam Room Butt-Naked,
Continuing to do yoga poses including sitting cross-legged across from me? Yeah, that was awkward.
Dear Custom Made Bunk Beds that require mattresses more expensive than bunk beds from Pottery Barn,
Thanks but no thanks.
Dear Wiener Dog who continues to poop the entire length of your body night after night in my room even though you go out to poop at midnight,
ever heard of the term shish-ka-bob?
Love,
Leslie
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)