So Much To Say

There has been so much to say in the last week and yet, little to add to what you have previously been following in our lives.
The days are still long with grief. Full with work and children. Consumed with love and longing for answers to deep questions.

Amy Noll has just posted a blog about all that has gone on in the last two weeks that speaks deeply about what is going on in her heart and it makes me love her more and more. Mostly because of how difficult it has to be to write about such things so publicly. Read and weep along with her and her family.

Amy Noll Blog

Mountain Climbing

It was a week ago today that Amy and I left Asheville and headed to Boerne to be with her family after hearing about her brother's death.

What a long week.

I know that it has felt to Amy like she has a mountain to climb every day.

She never knows what lies around each turn, what challenges she will face, what ascents will be the most difficult of the day. The things that seem to be the most hard at the beginning of the day-don't always turn out that way. Instead, little moments jump up and catch you off-guard resulting in tears, frustration and the desire to turn away, run or lash out.

It has been really hard.

Tomorrow, Amy returns to Asheville.

Yet another mountain as she leaves Texas.

Leaving her parents.

Leaving her freshman sister home alone.

Going back to college to take finals.

All in the face of mourning the loss of her brother.

Let the mountain climbing continue.

Feel free to keep us all in your thoughts as each day will undoubtedly be difficult.

I wanted to give you all the link to John's obituary: Obituary

As well as a letter that was so wonderfully written by the Boerne Superintendent regarding John's death that was sent out to the entire district: Superintendent's Letter (Click on Mourning One of Our Own)

In lieu of any flowers, the family asked for donations to Boerne Young Life.

If you would like to make a donation, you can do that here: Young Life Boerne Donation Page

Love Will Bring You Home

Boerne, Texas has been amazing.

It really has.

I wish that I had gotten to be here under different circumstances.

The people, the town, the love that exists here is so warm and comforting.

It truly felt like I was coming home. To a home that I had never been to before. I loved getting to be with Amy and her family and extended family and more extended family and then more extended family. And then their friends and friends of friends.

It is hard to understand exactly how the Nolls welcomed into their most intimate place of pain and sadness and to do it with such hospitality, grace and love? To do so says much more about who they are than anything else.

When you love well, everyone feels like they own a piece of your love and your pain.

This is the way it was with the Nolls.

They love so well, everyone wants to give it back to them.

Amy, her aunt Lisa and I got to go running on Saturday. As we ran and ran together, I got to reflect on all the reasons that I love Amy and her family and how I met her brother John and how even as a 13 year-old he had the deepest impact on my soul. He approached everyone with a selfless attitude and with pure unadulterated joy. He just liked to have fun. And having fun for him was working hard and playing hard.

I enjoyed him so much.

I will miss him. Not just for me, but for Amy, her sisters, her brother and her parents. They all deserve more life with him.

As we were running back to the house, Lisa and I equalled with Amy and ran on either side of her.

Surrounding Amy. Side by Side.

Bringing her home.

Safely.

It was powerful.

Made even more powerful because my ipod began to play "Love Will Bring You Home" by Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors.

I almost wept and collapsed with understanding that our only hope comes from love.

Love wrought by Jesus on the cross.

Here are the words:

Some say love is for pleasure

you take what you want

I say love is a healer

of the broken heart

Some say love is a treasure

Money can buy

I say love is bloodstain

in the innocents eye

Love will bring you home

Love will bring you home

In your darkest hour

In your time of need

When you're praying for shelter

When you're begging down on your knees

Some say love is a gamble

You win or you lose

I say love is the Father

waiting for you

Love will bring you home

Love will bring you home

In your darkest hour

In your time of need

When you're praying for shelter

When you're begging down on your knees

Love will bring you home

Love will bring you home

In your darkest hour

In your time of need

When your praying for shelter

When your begging down on your knees

Tomorrow, love will bring me back to Asheville.

And later this week Amy will return to finish up the semester.

I can't even imagine what the journey will be like for her.

But I know the one who will be by her side and it won't just be me.

Thankfully, He is much bigger than me.

Catch-Up

Before I left to come to Texas, we had a shared birthday party with Knox Troyer at Chuck E. Cheeses. The ONLY good thing about a party at Chuck E. Cheeses? It's not AT your house.

So that's where it was.

And Lucy and Knox loved it. Except that Knox was a bit under the weather. But what are you going to do? Party anyway!

Lucy got on her "Princess Dress" with "Princess Slippers" and "Princess Necklace".

Asher put on his Pilgrim hat.

They had a blast. We got away with not giving lucy any tokens for awhile early on while she pretended to play all the games. Then she was introduced to the idea of actually putting money into the games.

At the end of the night is when we heard about Amy's brother and things moved pretty quickly after that.

The days have been long, full of sadness and love, hope and heartache. The family feels those that are surrounding them in presence and spirit-bearing this burden with them. But it is so raw and so real. When the crowds go away and the quiet comes, so does the grip of pain of their loss that is deep, unending and unexplainable.

Thank you for praying, for loving them and for loving me while I am here. I am only able to love because of the one who has loved me. I only have hope because of the hope that He has given me. I believe in the mercy that He bestows upon us and that mercy is all I can cling to right now. The darkness has not overcome the light. (1 John 1:5)

My Amy

I am about to start packing for Texas.

My dear friend Amy tragically lost her brother last night and I don't know which end is up right now.

We are flying out together first thing in the morning.

I have no idea what we are flying INTO.

But, I am going to sit and cry and hold her hand. And her mom's hand. And anyone else that comes along.

If you are the praying kind of person,

please do so now.

Cover Girl

I haven't blogged about this experience yet because I didn't really know what was going to come of it.

But about six weeks ago, I was contacted by a local women's magazine Verve and they asked me to be a part of a story that they were doing about women in advertising. They were wanted to play off of the show Mad Men call it Mad Women.

Of course, I was thrilled!

For one, just to be IN a magazine.

But also for my business to be highlighted would great for us.

And I love the show Mad Men.

It's what we call a "Triple Threat"

I happily accepted and waited to hear from the reporter, then about the photo shoot.

About a month ago, we did the photo shoot in a downtown office building. It was me and four other female ad executives at competitive ad agencies. Some we work with, some we work again and some we never see just because of different markets.

But it was really fun to get to be a part of. We spent several hours trying different shots and getting "glammed up." It wasn't quite what you picture when you watch a photo shoot on tv. It was pretty down and dirty, but I had a great time and enjoyed myself.

Ever since then, I have had a hard time blogging because well-I wanted to talk about it :)

But the issue came out this week and so here it is!

I was really happy with how it came out.

It was nerve racking to be in charge of so many people's "images" and then to have so little control over your own.

Matt made the comment that the woman to my right looks like Samantha's mother on Bewitched. He's hilarious.

Go ahead. Call me your cover girl :)

The issue is not up on their website yet. I am guessing it will be by the end of the week however. There are more pictures, but perhaps they will be on there. Check back for the link later!

Happy Birthday Lu

It's Lucy's Third Birthday today and this is what she woke up to this morning:I have pictures of her reactions to these things, which trust me...are PRICELESS.

This was Lucy's reaction to the TinkerBell card that sang to her

"You can Fly!" She sang all morning until she broke the card.

Yay for figuring out three fingers in the air!

My adorable Cinderella!

Happy Birthday Lucy!

I'm Coming Back, Really

I know I've said it before.

But really. I am.

I haven't really talked about it, but I have had to take on a WHOLE LOT more work due to a small shift (READ LARGE) shift in our advertising firm. It is only temporary, but I am pretty much working full-time and have been for the last month. And will be for the next month.

But after that, things should settle down.

I have a whole lot to blog.

A whole lot of freaking pictures sitting on my camera.

A lot of videos that need to be edited and loaded up here.

By the time I catch back up, it will all be irrelevant, so I better get on it.

Until then, I will leave you with this.

I was driving home tonight, listening to a podcast of FreshAir that was about Sesame Street and how it was celebrating its 40 years on the air. They interview Frank Oz, who directed "The Muppets Take Manhattan" and they played this song "Saying Goodbye". Is it too much to think that it would be amazing to have this performed at your funeral, ala "We are the World"?

Anyways, I have to go rent this movie because I don't think I can let my kids go another day without seeing it.

Watch, think about it and love it too.

Buy a Pair, Give a Pair

I ordered a pair of TinyToms TOMS shoes for Lucy last week and they just got here.

I love my own pair of TOMS, the premise of this shoe company is that every time you buy a pair of their shoes, they give a pair of shoes to a child in need.

They are really cute, really low impact shoes and I LOVE THEM.

And they just launched a kids line.

Look how adorable they are.

And I am sure that this is going to probably be like next years Crocs or something cause they can be washed and they are super easy to put on and Lucy (who hates all shoes) ABSOLUTELY LOVES THEM. She squealed when we opened the box and put them on. And they come in boys too.

Click here to see more!

Just do yourself the favor of clicking on this picture to see how much sass is getting sent out to the world wide web.

Happy Day Before All Saints Day Everyone

Matt and I snuck in an at home date night tonight and watched Young Frankenstein AND The Proposal. Quite opposite movies. Both...enjoyable.

But this scene, you should watch at least once a month. Or whenever you need a laugh in your life.

It gets me EVERY SINGLE TIME.