Monday, February 13, 2012

I've Got the Mondays

I'm in the middle of a pretty long week around here.

I tried to get up a little early this morning to spend a little time to "myself." That was interfered with by a dog (I don't know which one) making a throw up sound in our room. No throwing up. But that behavior was supplanted when one of the dogs began licking its butthole. Repeatedly.

So that was a sweet alarm clock.

I got myself up, let the dog out. And took care of my "personal business."
When I came back to the door, Ranger had very kindly covered himself in turkey poop.
At 6:30am.

Time for a bath.
In my nicely cleaned bathroom.
With a dog that has dark, black hair. YAY!
After I bathed my dog, I got to clean the bathroom and wake my children up.

One child got up and decided he didn't really like any of the options for breakfast or anything I was making for lunch.
Too bad.
Then, dragged his feet through all the rest of his morning chores, brushing his teeth, putting on his shoes and then decided a light little jacket in the middle of February when it was 18 degrees outside was good enough. We had to go through 3 jacket changes, do his hair and blow his nose before also taking our neighbor to school.

Got them off, took Lucy to school but not before realizing that my laptop was at Matt's office and were I to do anything related to my job today, I needed to go get it.

I managed to grab it and return home by 9:30 to get my day under way.

But I am worn out and a bit cranky and I want so badly to be joyful in the midst of my day and serving my family. How does one do this when everything seems like an uphill battle?
It felt like an attack this morning telling me "You can't do it all and you shouldn't even try" and to "give up." Truthfully, I totally failed.
I yelled at Asher.
I yelled at Matt.
I grabbed Ranger by the ear and yanked him back in the house.
It was no fun to be at my house today.

But a little space.  A little quiet.
A little renewal and the truth can settle into your bones that nothing has been done that can't be undone.
And I am a work in progress too.
I need grace and mercy every bit as much as my husband and my children do.
It is hard to apply it to yourself.
Especially when I am so intense and want everything to go right.

And all I wanted was a little quiet time this morning. To get my day started right.
I think its more important sometimes for it to end well. Right?

Let's hope so. And let's all hope for Tuesday.

Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Living House

This Chubbiest Loser contest has brought into question so many areas of our lives that were totally unexpected.

When you start focusing on your diet and how you use food to compensate for your emotions; then you realize other ways that you do this as well. Finances, anger, even coming up with little "plans" to fix these things is a way to cope with and compensate for your emotional downfall. Rather than going to the source of all the questions and answers in our lives.

I am leading our areas work crew training right now and we have been doing a Bible study from Discipleship Journal called "Becoming More Like Jesus" and this week ended with a paragraph from CS Lewis that I wanted to share:

"Imagine yourself a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building a quite different house from the one you thought of-throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but he is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it himself."

My vision is completely quaint for my life. I have become the kind of person that has decided the safe, secure little cute cottage is a good idea instead of the wild ride that God promised me at the beginning.

But for sure over the last few years He has knocked out a few walls and installed rooms and towers where I would rather He didn't. It's good to have a vision of what is happening in my life so that I can take part in the joy that He has for me.

"God has set before us the ultimate prize of Christlikeness, and anything that moves us closer to that prize-including the lessons we learn through failure-bring Him pleasure and glory."
-Traci Mullins