My birthday keeps going on and on! My sweet friend, Leigh Bucklad made me this AWESOME purse for my birthday. You read that right, made me this purse. It is my new spring purse and I feel way cute wearing it around. Leigh is the best!
BTW: this leads me into a rant on how I have had a bad self-image for years. I never realized it before. But now that I am losing all of the baby weight and my clothes are fitting me again, I am going through boxes of clothes that I stored from before Asher, after Asher and early Lucy. I really think that I had a misguided sense of what my body looked like in clothes. I say this because, I am wearing clothes that I bought before I was pregnant with Asher. Now, I weigh just a few pounds more than I did when I got pregnant with him and so this leads me to believe that my clothes were just hanging off of me for years (and nobody said anything!).
I say this because I hate the way that my jeans look on me know, they feel really loose and baggy through the legs, but I can't go down a size quite yet because if I did; I would be the biggest offender of the muffin-top phenomenon. And maybe, just maybe, this was the problem that I believed that I had before Asher (I am saying this as a qualifier-because I could be wrong about how I looked before!). But I think that I just didn't have a good self-image and believed that my body looked worse than it actually did.
This idea makes me really sad for the time that I lost worrying and doubting myself. I spent years covering up and hiding what was actually a pretty good body. Now, after two kids I will never get back there. But I am pretty happy with what I have been able to achieve so far and I think that I am the healthiest mentally that I have been in years about who I am and whose I am.
But looking back, I regret how I felt about how I looked and about the torture that I carried with me about not looking good enough...when it was pretty darn good. I might try to remember this in the future when I trash myself while I am at the gym! It makes me always want to tell high school girls and others when I hear them make comments about how they look to just go ahead and enjoy what they have. You body; free of stretch marks, scars and flab, won't always be there!
I would love to hear any comments from you about things that you regret not enjoying enough while you had it!
