Friday, August 15, 2008

To No In Particular

But if the shoe fits, wear it.

I want to be the first to let you know that HE is in fact not the one. He is not going to change. I have spent too much of my life waiting to see the person that I want to see him be and instead he has turned out to be the person that he is going to be. Is he finished changing? Not at all. But I have learned through the various seasons of life, including the lives of my children to find out that I can not make anyone (including myself) into the person that I want them to be.

All that I have to offer is the simple truth that God will hopefully, sometimes and even unsuccessfully help me to love the people that he puts into my life the way that they are. I also pray and hope that they can somehow love me, no matter how much I fail them. With that being said, just loving someone is not a true indicator of the fact that you should be with them the rest of your life or even the next five minutes. I have been through relationships that have lasted years (and shouldn't have) and first dates that I have been hopeful about that turn into nothing.

Stop spending time, energy and your heart on a relationship that you have not be able to make work. The first time around, work hard on it. The second time around, give it a good go. The third, fourth and fifth time should be confirmation that this is not going to work and it is time to move on.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But since I have the benefit of having been in many relationships prior to my husband, I can tell you...even in marriage, relationships are difficult and this is a person that I have signed on to be with for the rest of my life. Dating should be fun, enjoyable and easy. Marriage is what's hard. If you can't have fun dating, then you will never have fun being married. I also have seen people who have a hard time dating; get married and my previous statement has been proven true more times than it has been false.

Go ahead and give yourself permission to close the door on this one. Not for me. Not for him. But for you. Every breakup is hard. You will always wonder about and maybe even still love a person. But, better relationships are out there. You don't have to blame him. You don't have to blame yourself. Sometimes, it just doesn't work out, even when two of the greatest people in the world find each other.

Thanks for listening. I hope that this will enable you to move on and find someone else. Cause girlfriend, this one's over.
Love and kisses. Tata,

Anyone else out there ever needed this talking to? Cause I sure did. Thankfully, I did and I did move on. Now I have an incredible husband, children that I love and a life that I could never have dreamed of. And it's still hard to remain content! I can't imagine if I was with a person who made me consistently unhappy.


caroline said...

Amen, girl! I'm with you on this one all the way.

Jill Rutland said...

amen sister! i simply adore this life that God has given me and am truely grateful that it is with Chris, Harrison and Hadleigh!

Michelle said...

Right on, right on, right on. I might have to submit this to "Oprah" for a show idea.