Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Things that go bump in the middle of the night


Last night at 1am Matt woke me up from a dead sleep saying "Leslie get up! Come see this bear."
He is standing at the window in our room peeking out through the blinds in only his boxers. I can only see him thanks to the glow of Conan O'brian.
I roll out of bed and watch as a seven to eight foot-tall bear saunters up our driveway. It is ENORMOUS. It walks into the darkness out of reach of our motion detecting light and stands up to knock over our garbage can with the slight flick of its paw. Yeah, it was frightening.

Matt yelled at it in his deepest voice; which was full of MENACE and TESTOSTERONE "Get outta here BEAR."

The bear, frightened by the manliness exhibited by my husbands voice, calmly snaked a bag of trash and walked into the woods to devour a bag full of poopy diapers and banana peels.

Matt then went into the basement, found his pellet gun and went onto the back porch and proceeded to shoot pellets at the bear.
The bear left a short time after that, but Matt was so pumped on the adrenaline of the experience that he was awake until 3am.

Fantastic.

4 comments:

Michelle said...

that is a fantastic story! I laughed out loud at the part about snacking on dirty diapers and banana peels!

Anonymous said...

i'm thinkin,manliness should be determined by the ability to make a major move of house and family, in the space of a week, or two, across the expanse of asheville-town while his wife (dead asleep while he was protecting the home from wild things)is planning to visit her sister...that is the test...and i am sure that matty sloan will pass....love'ums and grace, nonnie

Ed Eubanks said...

What a hero. Tell him he can come hunt bears in Tennessee anytime.

liz froba said...

that is hilarious. man i miss you guys! can't wait to see you new place!