Monday, June 8, 2009
Losing My Mind
I am going to use this blog for a dose of parenting honesty tonight.
I just had a major blow-up with Asher and then of course Matt over how to best parent Asher and I am at my wits end right now.
He is a GREAT little boy. So cute, so fun, so full of life.
But when he just is crazy-it is ALL OUT. There is no reeling him back in. I feel like I am at a complete loss for how to be a mom to him because according to Matt the only thing that makes him respond is a spanking.
Which I don't exactly want to do for multiple reasons but
1) there are are about 450 people around at all times in camp
2) I want him to just listen to me WITHOUT needing to resort to spanking
3) I don't want to do it.
But over the last few months, I have noticed that he just tunes me out. It is like I am yelling at him ALL DAY LONG over the silliest things just to get his attention because he just can not hear me. When I am speaking directly to him, it is like he is looking over my shoulder. Not at my face. Not in my eyes. There seems to be no connection unless there is a threat of really bad things happening to him.
Tonight we had to punish him over the silliest thing and he went beserk. Which Matt came in on and then took over and it made me feel like a incompetent parent.
I just want Asher to listen to me and have fun and want to do the things that I ask him to do.
But instead, I feel like I am constantly giving him a talking to and putting him in timeout.
I am really tired and want to just give up.
It is so hard because I feel like as great as Asher is, he is such a challenge .
Sorry for the rant, but is this what 4-year old boy looks like?
I am beat down right now.